1 00:00:03,310 --> 00:00:04,517 - "The Ms. Pat Show" was filmed 2 00:00:04,620 --> 00:00:06,586 in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:06,689 --> 00:00:09,310 - Any of you motherfuckers ever been shot before? 4 00:00:09,413 --> 00:00:10,344 [laughter] 5 00:00:10,448 --> 00:00:13,000 I have, twice. 6 00:00:13,103 --> 00:00:17,172 First time, I lost my nip in a drive-by. 7 00:00:17,275 --> 00:00:18,931 Hell, don't feel sorry for me, baby. 8 00:00:19,034 --> 00:00:21,655 Two nipples is overrated. 9 00:00:21,758 --> 00:00:25,344 Plus, nobody's ever gonna suck both of them at the same time. 10 00:00:26,655 --> 00:00:28,793 Luckily, I've had these same titties 11 00:00:28,896 --> 00:00:31,206 since the third grade. 12 00:00:31,310 --> 00:00:34,103 And do you know the doctor said if I was an A-cup, 13 00:00:34,206 --> 00:00:36,655 I would have died? 14 00:00:36,758 --> 00:00:38,793 Them cute little titties right there, white girl, 15 00:00:38,896 --> 00:00:41,655 would've got you killed. 16 00:00:43,068 --> 00:00:44,655 The other time I got shot, 17 00:00:44,758 --> 00:00:46,241 my baby daddy shot me in the back of the head. 18 00:00:46,344 --> 00:00:47,862 - Ooh. 19 00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:49,137 - But it was not his fault. 20 00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:52,137 It was my fault 'cause I ducked slow. 21 00:00:53,896 --> 00:00:55,827 Getting shot is no fun, y'all, 22 00:00:55,931 --> 00:00:58,103 and that's why tonight's show is dear to my heart. 23 00:00:58,206 --> 00:01:00,689 It is a scary world we're living in, 24 00:01:00,793 --> 00:01:03,206 and it's even scarier when you have kids, 25 00:01:03,310 --> 00:01:05,068 and even though it's overrated, 26 00:01:05,172 --> 00:01:08,862 I truly believe it's every parent's dream 27 00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:11,241 for their child to live 28 00:01:11,344 --> 00:01:13,758 a full, two-nipple life. 29 00:01:18,827 --> 00:01:21,862 - I'm sorry, ma'am. Do you mind sitting down? 30 00:01:21,965 --> 00:01:23,620 Some folks are still trying to board. 31 00:01:23,724 --> 00:01:25,068 - My bad. 32 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,275 - And that's going to have to go under your seat. 33 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,517 - I know how to fly, sky waiter. 34 00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:32,551 - Headed home? 35 00:01:32,655 --> 00:01:35,275 - Yep. Back to Plainfield, Indiana. 36 00:01:35,379 --> 00:01:37,448 - Oh. That's a nice city. 37 00:01:37,551 --> 00:01:39,724 - Well, I just moved there. I'm still getting used to it. 38 00:01:39,827 --> 00:01:41,551 But if you like white people, tiki torches, 39 00:01:41,655 --> 00:01:44,206 and duck shit, it's a nice city. 40 00:01:44,310 --> 00:01:46,137 - I'm looking forward to getting home. 41 00:01:46,241 --> 00:01:47,827 I miss my children like crazy. 42 00:01:47,931 --> 00:01:50,068 - They dead? 43 00:01:50,172 --> 00:01:52,310 - I just miss them. Don't you miss yours? 44 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,620 - Child, I don't miss the babies by my husband 45 00:01:54,724 --> 00:01:56,965 or them grown-ass kids by my baby daddy. 46 00:01:57,068 --> 00:01:58,827 - [laughs] 47 00:01:58,931 --> 00:02:00,275 Were you out here for work as well? 48 00:02:00,379 --> 00:02:02,827 - Yep, I'm a comedian. You? 49 00:02:02,931 --> 00:02:04,517 - I'm a geologist. - What? 50 00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:06,896 - A geologist. I study rocks. 51 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,241 - Wait a minute. 52 00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:10,448 They give white people jobs studying rocks? 53 00:02:10,551 --> 00:02:13,241 - [chuckles] - I used to sell crack rocks. 54 00:02:13,344 --> 00:02:15,827 You mean to tell me I'm a damn geologist? 55 00:02:17,068 --> 00:02:18,931 [cell phone chimes] 56 00:02:19,034 --> 00:02:20,448 Damn, another school shooting. 57 00:02:20,551 --> 00:02:23,000 - Aw, can you believe it? [sighs] 58 00:02:23,103 --> 00:02:25,000 These poor kids are so lost. 59 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:27,586 - Lady, poor kids can't afford no AR-15. 60 00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:31,034 That boy's a terrorist, and if he wasn't white, he'd be dead. 61 00:02:31,137 --> 00:02:32,448 - You really think they would've killed him 62 00:02:32,551 --> 00:02:34,689 if he wasn't white? - You do realize Black folks 63 00:02:34,793 --> 00:02:36,448 don't have to play the lottery no more? 64 00:02:36,551 --> 00:02:38,655 You just wait till the police shoot your child, 65 00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:41,344 and you might get a $4 million check. 66 00:02:41,448 --> 00:02:44,413 - And then they tax the shit. 67 00:02:44,517 --> 00:02:46,448 But I'm not in this conversation. 68 00:02:48,862 --> 00:02:51,068 - You know, I've actually never thought of it like that. 69 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,896 both: We know. 70 00:02:54,517 --> 00:02:56,655 - They judge these kids just by looking at them. 71 00:02:56,758 --> 00:02:58,310 Like my youngest son, 72 00:02:58,413 --> 00:03:00,862 he's smart, handsome, and wholesome, 73 00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:02,620 but don't nobody care about that. 74 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:03,827 [cell phone dings] 75 00:03:03,931 --> 00:03:06,310 He just posted something on the damn Snapchat. 76 00:03:06,413 --> 00:03:09,034 - Wow, I'm surprised your children let you follow them. 77 00:03:09,137 --> 00:03:11,241 - They don't, but BigBootyBecky31 can. 78 00:03:11,344 --> 00:03:13,275 - [laughs] 79 00:03:13,379 --> 00:03:15,000 That's genius. 80 00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:16,689 - Look. 81 00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:19,344 - ♪ I got bitches on my mind, I got hos on my line ♪ 82 00:03:19,448 --> 00:03:20,620 ♪ But the bitches beat the hos ♪ 83 00:03:20,724 --> 00:03:22,068 ♪ 'Cause they want it all the time ♪ 84 00:03:22,172 --> 00:03:24,793 [laughs] 85 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,827 - Girl, these poor kids are so lost. 86 00:03:35,517 --> 00:03:37,206 - ♪ Hop on, it's time to go 87 00:03:37,310 --> 00:03:40,137 ♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" 88 00:03:40,517 --> 00:03:43,310 [Maze's "Before I Let Go"] 89 00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:48,965 - ♪ Whoa, whoa, oh 90 00:03:49,068 --> 00:03:53,758 ♪ 91 00:03:53,862 --> 00:03:55,827 - Hey! [laughs] 92 00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:58,275 Look who's back, ha! 93 00:03:58,379 --> 00:04:00,793 My red-eye raven. 94 00:04:00,896 --> 00:04:03,482 - Man, why you so happy at 7:30 in the morning? 95 00:04:03,586 --> 00:04:06,689 - Come on, dance with me, superstar. 96 00:04:08,068 --> 00:04:10,172 - Turn that barbecue music off. 97 00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:13,310 - Come on now. You know you want to, girl. 98 00:04:13,413 --> 00:04:16,103 - No, I want to take my sleepy ass to sleep. 99 00:04:16,206 --> 00:04:18,275 Terry, stop. You so silly. 100 00:04:18,379 --> 00:04:20,413 I don't feel like all that movement. 101 00:04:20,517 --> 00:04:22,793 - ♪ I would never, never, never, never, never ♪ 102 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:23,965 - Stop! 103 00:04:24,068 --> 00:04:25,551 - ♪ Never, never let you go 104 00:04:25,655 --> 00:04:29,896 ♪ Before I go-ah-mmm-ah! 105 00:04:31,034 --> 00:04:32,724 Look at that. 106 00:04:32,827 --> 00:04:36,448 Nineteen years, and I still love that smile. 107 00:04:38,206 --> 00:04:40,448 That's why we've stayed married, huh? 108 00:04:40,551 --> 00:04:44,103 'Cause I can make you smile. 109 00:04:44,206 --> 00:04:47,000 - No, we stay married because you got good healthcare. 110 00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:48,758 - [laughs] 111 00:04:48,862 --> 00:04:51,344 All right, all right, baby. How were the shows, huh? 112 00:04:51,448 --> 00:04:54,482 - Oh, janky-ass promotor tried not to pay me. 113 00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:57,620 But I held on to the hood of his car till the police came. 114 00:04:57,724 --> 00:04:58,862 - [laughs] 115 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:02,482 - So it's pretty good. I'm just tired, though. 116 00:05:02,586 --> 00:05:04,448 - All right, baby, all right. Mwah. 117 00:05:04,551 --> 00:05:06,482 Go on, get in the bed. Let me finish making breakfast. 118 00:05:06,586 --> 00:05:07,793 - Why don't you finish taking down 119 00:05:07,896 --> 00:05:09,620 that "Gone with the Wind" wallpaper? 120 00:05:09,724 --> 00:05:12,448 - Girl, it is hard tearing down wallpaper 121 00:05:12,551 --> 00:05:14,655 when are you busy protecting this country. 122 00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:17,000 - Man, you make transmissions. 123 00:05:17,103 --> 00:05:18,827 - For a military contractor. 124 00:05:18,931 --> 00:05:21,448 - [laughs] And how's that protecting our country? 125 00:05:21,551 --> 00:05:24,482 - If I tell you, I'm gonna have to kill you. 126 00:05:24,586 --> 00:05:26,655 - Tell your mama. 127 00:05:26,758 --> 00:05:28,448 - [laughs] 128 00:05:28,551 --> 00:05:30,931 - Watch my six, Jay! I got you, headshot! 129 00:05:31,034 --> 00:05:35,068 Teabag, baby! - Shut your unnecessary ass up! 130 00:05:35,172 --> 00:05:36,655 - Hey, Mama. 131 00:05:36,758 --> 00:05:38,896 - Brandon still playing them video games? 132 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,137 We got to get that boy up out of our house. 133 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:42,689 - Why stop with that one? 134 00:05:42,793 --> 00:05:44,896 Let's get rid of all the kids. 135 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,344 - See, that's the sexiest shit I heard you say. 136 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,551 - Mm-hmm. 137 00:05:48,655 --> 00:05:50,206 - Let's start with that Junebug. 138 00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:51,482 - Why him? 139 00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:53,000 - Come here. Let me show you something. 140 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,689 - [sighs] 141 00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:56,689 Oh. 142 00:05:56,793 --> 00:05:58,689 What is he doing with a condom? 143 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,241 - A Fit-Rite. 144 00:06:00,344 --> 00:06:02,551 That shit for micro-penises. 145 00:06:08,827 --> 00:06:10,137 I've been gone for three days, 146 00:06:10,241 --> 00:06:12,551 and you got my baby out here Snapchatting a condom. 147 00:06:12,655 --> 00:06:14,862 - I ain't got your baby doing a damn thing. 148 00:06:14,965 --> 00:06:18,172 And you know good and well I don't own no Fit-Rite. 149 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,172 - What I do know is, if we still lived in Atlanta, 150 00:06:23,275 --> 00:06:24,448 he would have homeboys 151 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,413 that tell him not to Snapchat that mess. 152 00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:27,827 - Well, baby, we ain't have no choice 153 00:06:27,931 --> 00:06:29,413 but to move here after the factory shut down. 154 00:06:29,517 --> 00:06:30,620 You know that. 155 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,413 We've been here a whole month now, 156 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,620 and you the only one still got a problem. 157 00:06:34,724 --> 00:06:36,379 - Yeah, 'cause I hate it here. 158 00:06:36,482 --> 00:06:38,793 We went from Wakanda to Afcrackerstan. 159 00:06:38,896 --> 00:06:41,758 - [laughing] 160 00:06:41,862 --> 00:06:43,655 - See? I knew that shit was funny. 161 00:06:43,758 --> 00:06:46,965 Them West Coast crowds don't know how to laugh. 162 00:06:47,068 --> 00:06:48,689 - Well, baby, you got to admit it now. 163 00:06:48,793 --> 00:06:50,068 This is way better than Atlanta, right? 164 00:06:50,172 --> 00:06:52,931 They got ducks, there's tiki torches, and it's diverse. 165 00:06:53,034 --> 00:06:54,206 - Diverse? 166 00:06:54,310 --> 00:06:56,482 - There's all kinds of white people. 167 00:06:58,172 --> 00:06:59,620 - We need to talk to Junebug. 168 00:06:59,724 --> 00:07:02,137 - Aw, no, baby, I'm gonna talk to him myself. 169 00:07:02,241 --> 00:07:03,965 - No, you ain't scary enough. 170 00:07:04,068 --> 00:07:06,896 Your ass will probably have him meditating or some shit. 171 00:07:08,413 --> 00:07:09,413 - Baby-- - I'll do it. 172 00:07:09,517 --> 00:07:10,827 Just let me eat and get some rest. 173 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,103 - Look, I told you not to give him that phone. 174 00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:16,206 Now he just puts his whole damn life on social media. 175 00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,689 - Without the phone, he'll be kidnapped and killed. 176 00:07:18,793 --> 00:07:20,896 - [sighs] That's true. 177 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,103 - Whatever happened to the good kidnappers? 178 00:07:23,206 --> 00:07:24,517 - Good kidnappers? 179 00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:26,206 - You know the ones that used to take the kids, 180 00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:28,034 stick they thumb up they ass, and bring them back. 181 00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:29,896 [both laughing] 182 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,689 - No, player, I don't know none of them. 183 00:07:31,793 --> 00:07:33,827 - Hey, what's good, y'all? 184 00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:36,275 The most beautiful lady in the world 185 00:07:36,379 --> 00:07:38,620 who gave birth to yours truly 186 00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:40,034 is back in the building! 187 00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:41,965 Go ahead, say what's up to the people, Ma. 188 00:07:42,068 --> 00:07:45,068 - Boy, if you don't get that prepaid shit out of my face... 189 00:07:46,793 --> 00:07:48,206 - Uh, say what's up, Pops. 190 00:07:48,310 --> 00:07:50,000 - Hey, I see you finally finished 191 00:07:50,103 --> 00:07:51,620 touching yourself, son. 192 00:07:51,724 --> 00:07:54,655 - Chill, yo. - Eat your breakfast, boy. 193 00:07:54,758 --> 00:07:57,965 - [sighs] - Why you always on that phone? 194 00:07:58,068 --> 00:08:00,448 - I got to let the bros know what I'm up to. 195 00:08:00,551 --> 00:08:02,551 - Don't nobody give a damn about you, son. 196 00:08:02,655 --> 00:08:05,551 - Yes, they do, Ma. I got fans. 197 00:08:05,655 --> 00:08:09,137 Ooh, like this one girl-- BigBootyBecky. 198 00:08:14,034 --> 00:08:17,103 I think she wants me. - No, she don't. 199 00:08:20,275 --> 00:08:21,620 Where's your sister? 200 00:08:21,724 --> 00:08:23,206 - She said she didn't want to go to school today 201 00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:25,172 'cause of some shooting on the news or whatever. 202 00:08:25,275 --> 00:08:26,724 both: What? 203 00:08:26,827 --> 00:08:29,275 - Look, y'all know Janelle is overdramatic. 204 00:08:29,379 --> 00:08:31,448 And plus, look, we from Atlanta. 205 00:08:31,551 --> 00:08:33,413 We know how to handle stuff like that. 206 00:08:33,517 --> 00:08:34,551 [scoffs] 207 00:08:34,655 --> 00:08:36,172 - You dead. 208 00:08:37,689 --> 00:08:39,379 - That's not fair. I didn't see it coming. 209 00:08:39,482 --> 00:08:42,586 - You never see it coming. - But, Dad, I didn't know Ma-- 210 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,827 - Stop talking. You dead. 211 00:08:43,931 --> 00:08:44,793 - Mama! 212 00:08:44,896 --> 00:08:46,275 - Nigga, dead people don't talk. 213 00:08:46,379 --> 00:08:48,310 They say, "Boo, nigga, boo." 214 00:08:55,482 --> 00:08:57,931 Wake your ass up! 215 00:08:58,034 --> 00:08:58,965 - Ma! 216 00:08:59,068 --> 00:09:00,655 - Come on. You got to go to school. 217 00:09:00,758 --> 00:09:02,758 - I don't want to go. 218 00:09:02,862 --> 00:09:05,241 - Look, I need this house during the day 219 00:09:05,344 --> 00:09:07,965 so I can walk around naked. 220 00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:10,241 Do you want to see what your mama is really shaped like? 221 00:09:10,344 --> 00:09:13,068 - I already know you're shaped like two sacks of laundry. 222 00:09:14,241 --> 00:09:16,241 - Leave the jokes to me. Come on, get up. 223 00:09:16,344 --> 00:09:17,655 You got to go to school. 224 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,206 - I just want to stay here, Ma. Please. 225 00:09:19,310 --> 00:09:21,862 - [sighs] You think somebody gonna shoot you? 226 00:09:21,965 --> 00:09:24,275 - Junebug told you? - He told me something, 227 00:09:24,379 --> 00:09:25,655 but I know you in here faking, 228 00:09:25,758 --> 00:09:27,482 'cause you ain't scared of nobody. 229 00:09:27,586 --> 00:09:28,758 You just trying to stay home 230 00:09:28,862 --> 00:09:31,655 so you can watch them "Matlock" marathons. 231 00:09:31,758 --> 00:09:33,137 - I mean, I do love the way 232 00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:35,137 he gets white people to tell the truth, 233 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,862 but I'm for real-- people get ideas, 234 00:09:37,965 --> 00:09:39,758 especially in this kind of neighborhood. 235 00:09:39,862 --> 00:09:41,517 - This kind of neighborhood? - [sighs] 236 00:09:41,620 --> 00:09:43,034 - When I was your age, 237 00:09:43,137 --> 00:09:44,793 I used to be scared of the drunk mens on the corner 238 00:09:44,896 --> 00:09:47,241 with they junks hanging out. - Ma, I'm serious. 239 00:09:47,344 --> 00:09:48,448 - I am, too. 240 00:09:48,551 --> 00:09:50,931 Them bumpy dicks were scary as hell. 241 00:09:51,034 --> 00:09:53,689 - How is this related to me being killed in social studies? 242 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:55,034 - I don't know. I'm tired. 243 00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:56,620 Just imagine bumpy dicks and go get in the shower. 244 00:09:56,724 --> 00:09:58,034 Get up! Go wash your hot pocket! 245 00:09:58,137 --> 00:10:00,000 - Okay, okay, I'll get in the shower, okay! 246 00:10:03,275 --> 00:10:04,793 - I mean, you almost can't help 247 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,724 but feel sorry for the shooter, John. 248 00:10:06,827 --> 00:10:08,172 He really does seem like he had 249 00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,275 a promising e-gaming future ahead of him 250 00:10:10,379 --> 00:10:11,551 before the tragedy happened. 251 00:10:11,655 --> 00:10:14,655 - Oh, shut the fuck up. 252 00:10:14,758 --> 00:10:17,137 [door opens and slams] Jeez. 253 00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:19,137 - Hey, PatPat. 254 00:10:19,241 --> 00:10:20,620 - Why you home so early? 255 00:10:20,724 --> 00:10:22,724 - Them bitches "quired" me, sis. 256 00:10:22,827 --> 00:10:24,758 - What the fuck is "quired"? 257 00:10:24,862 --> 00:10:27,068 - Fired me when I was about to quit. 258 00:10:31,206 --> 00:10:34,620 - How you get fired from three jobs in one month, Denise? 259 00:10:34,724 --> 00:10:37,965 - Okay, first of all, I was "quired." 260 00:10:39,103 --> 00:10:40,310 Second of all, 261 00:10:40,413 --> 00:10:42,655 jobs is for people who ain't got nothing else to do. 262 00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:45,275 - Bitch, you ain't got nothing else to do! 263 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,137 What happened at Panda Express? 264 00:10:49,241 --> 00:10:51,482 - Okay. 265 00:10:51,586 --> 00:10:53,931 See, what had happened was, 266 00:10:54,034 --> 00:10:56,793 them hos was talking about me behind my back, 267 00:10:56,896 --> 00:10:59,241 saying that they saw me 268 00:10:59,344 --> 00:11:02,862 on camera stealing food. 269 00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:08,586 Ain't that some shit? 270 00:11:08,689 --> 00:11:10,103 That's all right, 271 00:11:10,206 --> 00:11:12,379 'cause I don't really fuck with pandas anyway. 272 00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:15,793 You want one of these egg rolls? 273 00:11:15,896 --> 00:11:18,206 - I'm not about to help you eat no evidence. 274 00:11:20,517 --> 00:11:22,793 Give me a shrimp. 275 00:11:24,068 --> 00:11:25,689 - And I didn't steal this. 276 00:11:25,793 --> 00:11:27,793 - You lying. - I'm not! 277 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:31,241 - You're a recovering addict. Y'all never stop lying. 278 00:11:31,344 --> 00:11:32,896 - Okay, you right. 279 00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:39,793 But I didn't steal it till they thought I stole it. 280 00:11:42,103 --> 00:11:44,689 This legal-job shit is hard, sis. 281 00:11:44,793 --> 00:11:47,827 Having somebody stand over me all the damn time. 282 00:11:47,931 --> 00:11:50,482 I don't think I can work for other people. 283 00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:52,103 - Why you think I'm a comedian? 284 00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:56,103 I can't get fired by nobody but God and Black Twitter. 285 00:11:58,586 --> 00:12:00,103 - And I don't see how you do comedy. 286 00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:03,689 Never knowing when your next cash flow is coming in. 287 00:12:03,793 --> 00:12:05,482 [laughs] I can't be broke. 288 00:12:13,241 --> 00:12:14,551 - I ain't broke. 289 00:12:14,655 --> 00:12:16,379 - You may not be broke, 290 00:12:16,482 --> 00:12:18,103 but you bending. 291 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,413 It's kind of scary, sis. 292 00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:26,827 - Not as scary as me putting your ass out of my house. 293 00:12:26,931 --> 00:12:28,655 You my sister, and I love you, 294 00:12:28,758 --> 00:12:31,655 but I didn't bring you here so you can do the same old shit 295 00:12:31,758 --> 00:12:33,482 you did back at home. 296 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,689 - Well, I don't have a Terry 297 00:12:35,793 --> 00:12:38,517 to help me change my life around like you did. 298 00:12:38,620 --> 00:12:39,931 - You don't need a Terry. 299 00:12:40,034 --> 00:12:42,482 You got the same thing I had-- 300 00:12:42,586 --> 00:12:44,103 me. 301 00:12:45,655 --> 00:12:48,137 - I need a Terry. 302 00:12:50,965 --> 00:12:51,965 - Come on, man, watch my back, nigga! 303 00:12:52,068 --> 00:12:53,206 Watch my back! [laughs] 304 00:12:53,310 --> 00:12:55,551 - Oh, I've had enough of his ass. 305 00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:56,689 - What you about to do? 306 00:12:56,793 --> 00:12:57,551 You about to turn off the Wi-Fi? 307 00:12:57,655 --> 00:12:58,931 - Yep. 308 00:12:59,034 --> 00:13:00,413 - Well, how am I supposed to find a job now? 309 00:13:00,517 --> 00:13:02,896 - Make a sign like other homeless people. 310 00:13:04,206 --> 00:13:06,655 - No, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 311 00:13:06,758 --> 00:13:09,137 Mama! What you do that for? 312 00:13:09,241 --> 00:13:11,000 I was just about to win a level on "Call of Duty." 313 00:13:11,103 --> 00:13:12,344 - Son, you need to call a job 314 00:13:12,448 --> 00:13:15,965 and duty your ass up out my house! 315 00:13:16,068 --> 00:13:19,068 You too old to be screaming at fake shit. 316 00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:21,758 - Fake? Mom, this is not fake, okay? 317 00:13:21,862 --> 00:13:23,758 This is a real community. 318 00:13:23,862 --> 00:13:25,275 - Boy, this is as fake 319 00:13:25,379 --> 00:13:27,965 as your real daddy's child support checks. 320 00:13:29,965 --> 00:13:32,965 You're 28 years old, son, still living at my house. 321 00:13:33,068 --> 00:13:36,793 Get off my nipple. I ain't got but one. 322 00:13:36,896 --> 00:13:39,655 - Okay. Aw, I missed you, Mom. 323 00:13:39,758 --> 00:13:41,827 - I love and hate you, too. 324 00:13:41,931 --> 00:13:43,724 [cell phone chimes] 325 00:13:43,827 --> 00:13:45,689 What this boy done posted now? 326 00:13:45,793 --> 00:13:48,310 [indistinct shouting] 327 00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:51,034 - Oh, shit! - Yo, is that Janelle? 328 00:13:51,137 --> 00:13:53,310 - Whup her ass, niecey! 329 00:13:53,413 --> 00:13:56,068 Yeah, whup her ass! - Why is she fighting? 330 00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:57,793 - And why would Junebug post this? 331 00:13:57,896 --> 00:13:59,793 - Oh, please, that boy posts everything. 332 00:13:59,896 --> 00:14:01,275 Did you see his last video? - [sighs] 333 00:14:01,379 --> 00:14:03,413 - I don't know where he found them raggedy-ass condoms. 334 00:14:03,517 --> 00:14:05,896 - Child, this is bigger than them raggedy-ass condoms. 335 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,862 - Well, everything is bigger than them condoms. 336 00:14:08,965 --> 00:14:10,586 Are you going to the school? 337 00:14:10,689 --> 00:14:12,758 - Bitch, I ain't going to church. 338 00:14:12,862 --> 00:14:14,724 - Wait, turn the Wi-Fi back on first. 339 00:14:14,827 --> 00:14:16,931 - Wi-Fi, nigga! 340 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,068 [door closes] 341 00:14:21,896 --> 00:14:23,344 - Wi-Fi, nigga. 342 00:14:25,758 --> 00:14:27,310 Hello? 343 00:14:28,896 --> 00:14:31,689 - Oh, hello. - Hi, I'm Patricia Carson. 344 00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:33,620 - I think I know who you're here for. 345 00:14:33,724 --> 00:14:35,448 - My daughter J-- - Janisha, right? 346 00:14:35,551 --> 00:14:36,862 - Janelle. 347 00:14:36,965 --> 00:14:40,000 - Oh, my goodness, yes. I'm sorry. 348 00:14:43,379 --> 00:14:46,413 Principal Horner, Janiqua's mom is here to see you. 349 00:14:53,379 --> 00:14:55,482 - Glad you could make it, Ms. Carson. 350 00:14:55,586 --> 00:14:58,137 Please. - What happened? 351 00:14:58,241 --> 00:15:01,896 - Your daughter and another student were in the hallway. 352 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,344 Somehow guns and the recent school shooting 353 00:15:04,448 --> 00:15:06,068 became the topic of discussion. 354 00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:09,103 Your daughter then stated, and I quote, 355 00:15:09,206 --> 00:15:11,931 "Only white people shoot up schools." 356 00:15:12,034 --> 00:15:13,862 - Which is a nonbiased fact. - [sighs] 357 00:15:13,965 --> 00:15:15,551 - But then Hailey said, 358 00:15:15,655 --> 00:15:19,551 "It's because Black people are too busy shooting each other." 359 00:15:19,655 --> 00:15:21,896 - Then what happened? - Then your daughter-- 360 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,586 - Dog-walked her till she apologized. 361 00:15:25,689 --> 00:15:28,862 - We have a very supportive community here, 362 00:15:28,965 --> 00:15:31,517 but some behavior just cannot be tolerated. 363 00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:34,275 - Well, can you tolerate your students bragging 364 00:15:34,379 --> 00:15:36,344 about shooting assault rifles with their parents? 365 00:15:36,448 --> 00:15:37,379 'Cause I can't. 366 00:15:37,482 --> 00:15:39,517 - That's their right. - Their right? 367 00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:42,551 Who needs an assault rifle to defend themselves? 368 00:15:42,655 --> 00:15:44,827 If you can't shoot nobody with eight to ten bullets, 369 00:15:44,931 --> 00:15:46,482 you deserve to be killed. 370 00:15:48,724 --> 00:15:50,827 - I am not here to have a gun debate with you. 371 00:15:50,931 --> 00:15:53,034 I'm here to discuss your daughter. 372 00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:55,793 Now I know that it is difficult 373 00:15:55,896 --> 00:15:58,034 raising a child as a single parent. 374 00:15:58,137 --> 00:15:59,517 - What did he say? 375 00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:02,344 - Girl, he just called you a single parent. 376 00:16:03,689 --> 00:16:05,931 - What make you think I'm a single parent? 377 00:16:06,034 --> 00:16:08,931 - Racism. 378 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:11,206 - I'm sorry. I just assumed that-- 379 00:16:11,310 --> 00:16:12,724 - Now you done pissed me off. 380 00:16:12,827 --> 00:16:15,862 - We do not allow threats or cursing on our campus. 381 00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:18,034 - Piss ain't a cuss word, bitch. 382 00:16:20,655 --> 00:16:22,758 Janelle, go to the car. 383 00:16:22,862 --> 00:16:25,034 Go to the car! 384 00:16:28,137 --> 00:16:29,793 [door closes] 385 00:16:29,896 --> 00:16:31,275 What is your problem? 386 00:16:31,379 --> 00:16:33,482 - Mrs. Carson, your daughter is making things harder 387 00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:35,206 than they have to be. 388 00:16:35,310 --> 00:16:37,551 First, she's taking a knee during the pledge. 389 00:16:37,655 --> 00:16:38,793 - That's her right. 390 00:16:38,896 --> 00:16:40,896 - Then she's wearing Black Girl Magic T-Shirts, 391 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,034 when, in fact, all girls have magic. 392 00:16:43,137 --> 00:16:45,068 - That's a damn lie. 393 00:16:48,517 --> 00:16:51,172 - And now she's fighting in my hallways. 394 00:16:51,275 --> 00:16:53,586 - Look, I don't condone her fighting, 395 00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:56,206 but I think you just don't know my daughter yet. 396 00:16:56,310 --> 00:16:58,551 She's a straight-A student, a great leader, 397 00:16:58,655 --> 00:17:02,655 and she's 50% of your Black population. 398 00:17:03,586 --> 00:17:06,103 - How am I supposed to know you or your family? 399 00:17:06,206 --> 00:17:08,551 I haven't seen you at a PTO meeting 400 00:17:08,655 --> 00:17:10,275 or a bake sale. 401 00:17:10,379 --> 00:17:12,965 And you haven't signed up to chaperone a single field trip. 402 00:17:13,068 --> 00:17:15,379 - They do criminal background checks. 403 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:26,482 Hell, that's the best part about being a felon. 404 00:17:26,586 --> 00:17:29,965 No jury duty, no trips to the zoo. 405 00:17:30,068 --> 00:17:32,482 - You're a f-felon? 406 00:17:32,586 --> 00:17:35,068 - Let's just say I made a lot of mistakes in my life 407 00:17:35,172 --> 00:17:38,586 that I'm trying to keep my kids from making. 408 00:17:38,689 --> 00:17:41,034 - Understood. 409 00:17:41,137 --> 00:17:43,413 Mrs. Carson, your family is welcome here, 410 00:17:43,517 --> 00:17:45,827 and I'm sorry your daughter feels differently. 411 00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:47,655 She just needs time, 412 00:17:47,758 --> 00:17:50,000 but I'm still suspending her for five days. 413 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:51,379 - Four. She won the fight. 414 00:17:51,482 --> 00:17:52,448 - Five. 415 00:17:52,551 --> 00:17:54,241 - Three. It wasn't even close. 416 00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:55,793 - Four. - 3 1/2. 417 00:17:55,896 --> 00:17:57,068 - 3 1/2? 418 00:17:57,172 --> 00:17:58,620 - I'm not feeding her for four days. 419 00:17:58,724 --> 00:18:00,172 She'll be here for lunch. 420 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,241 - Fine. 421 00:18:03,344 --> 00:18:05,034 - And just so we clear, 422 00:18:05,137 --> 00:18:06,448 they was both right. 423 00:18:06,551 --> 00:18:08,689 RayRay will shoot DayDay, 424 00:18:08,793 --> 00:18:11,827 but them Chad motherfuckers gonna kill us all. 425 00:18:17,827 --> 00:18:20,827 I'm done with y'all ass. Go upstairs and go to bed. 426 00:18:20,931 --> 00:18:22,724 - It's 2:00 in the afternoon. 427 00:18:22,827 --> 00:18:26,137 - Boy, you Black. It's bedtime in Africa. 428 00:18:26,241 --> 00:18:28,586 - Niecey, your first fight, 429 00:18:28,689 --> 00:18:30,517 and you really whipped that bitch's ass. 430 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:31,758 - I know! 431 00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:33,586 - You're next. 432 00:18:33,689 --> 00:18:36,137 - I was worried about you 'cause you read so good, 433 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:38,344 but you got hands! 434 00:18:39,965 --> 00:18:41,655 Hey, PatPat. 435 00:18:41,758 --> 00:18:44,206 Can you come help me with my résumé? 436 00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:45,517 - You know damn well 437 00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:48,241 you can't get no job that requires no résumé. 438 00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:51,172 - Would you just shut up and look? 439 00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:52,758 - Denise. - Hmm? 440 00:18:52,862 --> 00:18:55,862 - How did you go to Hillman? It's not even a real college. 441 00:18:57,344 --> 00:19:00,482 - It's an honorary degree. 442 00:19:02,344 --> 00:19:03,620 Hey, T. - Hey. 443 00:19:03,724 --> 00:19:04,862 - You back early. 444 00:19:04,965 --> 00:19:06,413 - Yeah, well, your sister made me come back home 445 00:19:06,517 --> 00:19:08,103 to talk to these kids. 446 00:19:08,206 --> 00:19:09,551 - 'Cause they got me running around 447 00:19:09,655 --> 00:19:11,551 like a crackhead looking for copper. 448 00:19:11,655 --> 00:19:12,724 - [sighs] 449 00:19:12,827 --> 00:19:14,034 Well, baby, how you think you got me feeling 450 00:19:14,137 --> 00:19:15,413 when you gone, huh? 451 00:19:15,517 --> 00:19:17,000 They got me running around like a ho in the street 452 00:19:17,103 --> 00:19:18,517 after payday. 453 00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:22,034 - [laughs] I'm sick of that girl. 454 00:19:22,137 --> 00:19:23,965 I don't know why she acting like that. 455 00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:25,965 - 'Cause she just like you. 456 00:19:26,068 --> 00:19:27,241 - I don't act like that. 457 00:19:27,344 --> 00:19:29,448 - Yes, you do. 458 00:19:29,551 --> 00:19:31,793 Remember when Brandon's daddy was cheating 459 00:19:31,896 --> 00:19:33,103 and you shot him in the leg 460 00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:35,482 just so you could take care of him? 461 00:19:35,586 --> 00:19:37,931 - And he still left the hospital with another bitch. 462 00:19:38,034 --> 00:19:39,379 [laughs] 463 00:19:39,482 --> 00:19:42,379 - [laughs] Or that time you fought Pookie 464 00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,965 'cause he told you your Jheri Curl was dry. 465 00:19:45,068 --> 00:19:47,413 - Fuck Pookie. 466 00:19:47,517 --> 00:19:49,137 - Hmm. 467 00:19:49,241 --> 00:19:51,034 Well, you know, the truth is, 468 00:19:51,137 --> 00:19:54,206 these kids ain't never get in no trouble back home. 469 00:19:54,310 --> 00:19:55,482 [sighs] 470 00:19:55,586 --> 00:19:57,827 Baby, did I mess us up by moving here? 471 00:20:01,586 --> 00:20:02,689 - Pat? 472 00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:07,068 - I'm thinking. 473 00:20:07,172 --> 00:20:08,551 - Aw! - Aw, that's right. 474 00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:10,482 That's right. Just what you get! 475 00:20:10,586 --> 00:20:12,482 I know what I did, and I'd do it again, try it. 476 00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,068 - [sighs] You're such a crazy-- 477 00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:16,379 - Say it, and I'll knock your teeth out 478 00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:19,827 and give them to my Uncle Peaches. 479 00:20:19,931 --> 00:20:21,517 - What is going on? 480 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,206 - Dad, she broke my phone. - You should've apologized. 481 00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:25,827 - For what? You hit her, not me. 482 00:20:25,931 --> 00:20:27,068 - How about I hit your ass? 483 00:20:27,172 --> 00:20:28,310 - Whoa, whoa, hey, Janelle, come on now. 484 00:20:28,413 --> 00:20:30,344 - She said "ass," Ma. - It's in the Bible. 485 00:20:30,448 --> 00:20:32,551 - I don't read the Bible, so you cursed. 486 00:20:32,655 --> 00:20:34,724 Get your fucking ass downstairs. 487 00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:43,689 - She's evil, Ma. I think it's menopause. 488 00:20:45,724 --> 00:20:48,103 - Why would you put your sister out there like that? 489 00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,310 - [sighs] I don't know. 490 00:20:49,413 --> 00:20:50,724 I thought my followers would like it. 491 00:20:50,827 --> 00:20:52,448 - You got to think sometimes, man. 492 00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:54,344 Everything ain't for the world to see. 493 00:20:54,448 --> 00:20:57,344 - I hear you. Is there anything else? 494 00:20:59,275 --> 00:21:01,000 - We want to talk to you 495 00:21:01,103 --> 00:21:04,103 about a video you posted on your Snapchat this morning. 496 00:21:04,206 --> 00:21:05,413 - Wait, wait, wait, wait. 497 00:21:05,517 --> 00:21:07,379 How did you see what was on my Snapchat? 498 00:21:07,482 --> 00:21:09,206 - Black parents are like God, son. 499 00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:11,551 We see every damn thing. 500 00:21:12,862 --> 00:21:15,689 - Are you having sex? - You think I'm having sex? 501 00:21:15,793 --> 00:21:18,275 - Boy, calm your ass down and answer the question. 502 00:21:18,379 --> 00:21:19,896 - Are you? 503 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,931 - Look, I really don't want to talk about this with y'all. 504 00:21:23,034 --> 00:21:24,862 - We don't give a damn. 505 00:21:24,965 --> 00:21:26,862 - Ma, but I do. 506 00:21:26,965 --> 00:21:28,965 I mean, I'd rather have this conversation 507 00:21:29,068 --> 00:21:30,827 with Brandon or somebody, 508 00:21:30,931 --> 00:21:33,793 'cause y'all don't really know what it's like out here. 509 00:21:33,896 --> 00:21:37,344 So, if that's it, can y'all just get out? 510 00:21:39,620 --> 00:21:40,827 Please? 511 00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,448 - I'm not one of your little friends, okay? 512 00:21:46,551 --> 00:21:50,310 I will kill your ass and still claim you on my taxes. 513 00:21:52,586 --> 00:21:56,241 So I guess you think sex is what you see on Pornhub, huh? 514 00:21:56,344 --> 00:21:58,586 "Bleached booty holes and shit." 515 00:22:00,034 --> 00:22:01,103 Well, it's not! 516 00:22:01,206 --> 00:22:02,551 When I was your age, 517 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:05,275 I already had a child and another one in the oven. 518 00:22:05,379 --> 00:22:06,482 So don't try to tell me 519 00:22:06,586 --> 00:22:08,344 I don't know what it is out here, baby, 520 00:22:08,448 --> 00:22:10,344 because I was born out here. 521 00:22:10,448 --> 00:22:11,758 - All right, all right, all right, all right. 522 00:22:11,862 --> 00:22:14,137 Hey, son, apologize to your mother, huh? 523 00:22:14,241 --> 00:22:15,931 - No, fuck him, Terry. 524 00:22:18,448 --> 00:22:19,724 - I'm sorry. 525 00:22:19,827 --> 00:22:21,655 - And don't you ever in your life 526 00:22:21,758 --> 00:22:24,965 Snapchat a condom that small again. 527 00:22:31,068 --> 00:22:34,482 - Are you actually thinking about having sex? 528 00:22:34,586 --> 00:22:36,965 - [sighs] I don't know. 529 00:22:37,068 --> 00:22:39,827 I just--but, you know, I do have questions, though. 530 00:22:39,931 --> 00:22:42,000 - Oh, go ahead, son. 531 00:22:42,103 --> 00:22:44,000 That's what we here for. 532 00:22:44,103 --> 00:22:47,931 - I can ask anything? - Anything you want, son. 533 00:22:49,517 --> 00:22:52,586 - Okay, okay, um... 534 00:22:52,689 --> 00:22:55,827 so what's a clit, and if-- - Oh, hell no. 535 00:23:03,827 --> 00:23:05,551 - I'm sorry I broke his phone. 536 00:23:05,655 --> 00:23:07,275 - If your brother get kidnapped, 537 00:23:07,379 --> 00:23:09,413 you better come up missing, too. 538 00:23:11,137 --> 00:23:12,551 What's going on with you? 539 00:23:12,655 --> 00:23:15,448 - You wouldn't understand. - Why not? 540 00:23:15,551 --> 00:23:17,517 - You don't care about stuff like this. 541 00:23:17,620 --> 00:23:20,172 - Like what? - Racism. 542 00:23:20,275 --> 00:23:21,655 You bought those Paula Deen pots 543 00:23:21,758 --> 00:23:23,310 even after she called us the N-word. 544 00:23:23,413 --> 00:23:26,620 - Child, them pots went from $100 to $20. 545 00:23:28,379 --> 00:23:30,310 That's the best time to buy racism, 546 00:23:30,413 --> 00:23:31,689 when it's on sale. 547 00:23:33,586 --> 00:23:36,896 Hell, I'm still waiting on Rachael Ray to fuck up. 548 00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,655 But what do that have to do with this? 549 00:23:40,758 --> 00:23:43,103 - What she said was racist. 550 00:23:43,206 --> 00:23:46,931 - Janelle, just because somebody say something stupid 551 00:23:47,034 --> 00:23:48,482 don't make them racist. 552 00:23:48,586 --> 00:23:51,068 It makes them an asshole. 553 00:23:51,172 --> 00:23:53,689 If you go around punching every asshole you see, 554 00:23:53,793 --> 00:23:56,000 you will be covered in shit. 555 00:24:01,275 --> 00:24:03,551 - It doesn't bother you what they think about us? 556 00:24:03,655 --> 00:24:04,965 - What do they think about us? 557 00:24:05,068 --> 00:24:07,482 - They think we're all unemployed and lazy. 558 00:24:07,586 --> 00:24:09,655 - You are unemployed and lazy. [laughs] 559 00:24:09,758 --> 00:24:12,206 - Ma, I hate it here. 560 00:24:12,310 --> 00:24:13,862 I'm tired of walking around 561 00:24:13,965 --> 00:24:16,655 being the token Black girl all the time. 562 00:24:16,758 --> 00:24:19,793 Every day I wake up, I feel scared to go there. 563 00:24:19,896 --> 00:24:22,517 I mean, whether it's scared of a bullet 564 00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:25,000 or someone's dumb joke, it all feels the same. 565 00:24:25,103 --> 00:24:29,000 - Well, a bullet is hot, but continue. 566 00:24:30,241 --> 00:24:33,275 - I mean, Junebug, he's loving being the token Black guy. 567 00:24:33,379 --> 00:24:35,931 White boys, they want to know where he got his shoes 568 00:24:36,034 --> 00:24:38,275 and what kind of music they should listen to. 569 00:24:38,379 --> 00:24:39,758 He has a way in. 570 00:24:39,862 --> 00:24:42,275 There's no way in for me. 571 00:24:42,379 --> 00:24:44,172 I miss home, Ma. 572 00:24:44,275 --> 00:24:48,655 I miss people actually knowing my name and... 573 00:24:48,758 --> 00:24:51,586 Like, I don't know, okay? I just... 574 00:24:51,689 --> 00:24:53,931 I miss people who get it... 575 00:24:54,034 --> 00:24:56,379 who get me. 576 00:24:56,482 --> 00:24:59,689 - Look, I know you frustrated. I am, too. 577 00:24:59,793 --> 00:25:02,034 Hell, I miss being at a Black beauty salon 578 00:25:02,137 --> 00:25:04,344 where all the bitches are missing their edges. 579 00:25:04,448 --> 00:25:07,275 [both laughing] 580 00:25:09,931 --> 00:25:12,206 But I'm learning home is where your family is. 581 00:25:12,310 --> 00:25:13,862 We blessed. 582 00:25:13,965 --> 00:25:15,758 I pray one day I get a big gig 583 00:25:15,862 --> 00:25:17,758 and get us the fuck up out of here, 584 00:25:17,862 --> 00:25:20,724 but until then, we got to make this place ours 585 00:25:20,827 --> 00:25:22,793 and laugh while we do it. 586 00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:24,689 Sometimes you got to laugh so hard 587 00:25:24,793 --> 00:25:26,620 that it breaks down every mountain 588 00:25:26,724 --> 00:25:28,724 life can put in front of you. 589 00:25:28,827 --> 00:25:30,413 Why do you think I'm a comedian? 590 00:25:30,517 --> 00:25:32,103 - 'Cause you hate climbing mountains 591 00:25:32,206 --> 00:25:33,689 and any other exercise. 592 00:25:36,586 --> 00:25:38,241 - You gonna be all right. 593 00:25:38,344 --> 00:25:42,620 Plus, you love making white people uncomfortable. 594 00:25:42,724 --> 00:25:44,862 Isn't this the place for you? 595 00:25:48,896 --> 00:25:51,758 - I love you. - I love you, too, baby. 596 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,827 Janelle. 597 00:26:00,034 --> 00:26:02,793 You gonna be all right at that school. 598 00:26:08,551 --> 00:26:10,965 - Hey, baby. 599 00:26:11,068 --> 00:26:12,689 Now... 600 00:26:12,793 --> 00:26:14,758 somebody's got something to say. 601 00:26:14,862 --> 00:26:17,310 - Did you teach your daddy what a clit is? 602 00:26:25,620 --> 00:26:27,206 - No. 603 00:26:27,310 --> 00:26:30,275 I just wanted to apologize to Janelle for filming the fight. 604 00:26:30,379 --> 00:26:32,862 I was just trying to show off for my friends, 605 00:26:32,965 --> 00:26:36,241 and I didn't mean to embarrass you like that. 606 00:26:36,344 --> 00:26:38,862 - I accept your apology. 607 00:26:38,965 --> 00:26:41,137 - And? 608 00:26:41,241 --> 00:26:45,068 - And I know you won't do it again. 609 00:26:45,172 --> 00:26:47,172 - What? Ma! 610 00:26:47,275 --> 00:26:50,310 Come on, why are these two still alive? 611 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,896 For real, if I would've done anything they did today, 612 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,758 I'd still be buried in the playground at the projects. 613 00:26:56,862 --> 00:26:58,586 - I can't raise my BlueCross kids 614 00:26:58,689 --> 00:27:01,068 the same way I raised my Medicaid kid. 615 00:27:02,586 --> 00:27:05,172 They got cameras now. 616 00:27:05,275 --> 00:27:09,241 - Oh, hey, man, I just wanted to give you back your condoms 617 00:27:09,344 --> 00:27:11,413 'cause I don't think I'm gonna be using them any time soon. 618 00:27:11,517 --> 00:27:13,206 [laughter] 619 00:27:13,310 --> 00:27:16,862 [doorbell rings] - Damn, it never grew? 620 00:27:16,965 --> 00:27:20,448 - Your dick is still in the third grade? 621 00:27:20,551 --> 00:27:22,413 - [clears throat] - Oh. 622 00:27:24,862 --> 00:27:26,344 How much of that did you hear? 623 00:27:26,448 --> 00:27:27,827 - Hi. 624 00:27:29,275 --> 00:27:30,862 We're the Shaeffers. 625 00:27:30,965 --> 00:27:34,482 - And we're the Carsons, the Fords, and the James. 626 00:27:34,586 --> 00:27:37,724 - [laughs] Well, that's fun. 627 00:27:37,827 --> 00:27:40,655 We live next door, and I just wanted to stop by 628 00:27:40,758 --> 00:27:42,172 and welcome you to the neighborhood. 629 00:27:42,275 --> 00:27:43,931 - Oh, thank you. 630 00:27:44,034 --> 00:27:46,034 Bye-bye. 631 00:27:46,137 --> 00:27:49,000 See, I told y'all all white people ain't bad. 632 00:27:51,448 --> 00:27:52,724 [door closes] 633 00:27:52,827 --> 00:27:54,551 - What the heck is that? 634 00:27:54,655 --> 00:27:55,827 - It look like a one-layer lasagna. 635 00:27:55,931 --> 00:27:57,448 - Ain't that just a noodle? 636 00:27:57,551 --> 00:27:59,827 - Don't hate on our neighbors. I think that was nice of her. 637 00:27:59,931 --> 00:28:02,517 - Nice? She just don't want us to break in they house. 638 00:28:02,620 --> 00:28:05,517 - Well, we might have to if we want them other five layers. 639 00:28:05,620 --> 00:28:08,620 [laughter] 640 00:28:08,724 --> 00:28:10,896 - Hold up. This is a Rachael Ray tray. 641 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,517 This bitch ain't getting this back. 642 00:28:12,620 --> 00:28:15,068 Come on, Denise, where that Chinese food that you stole? 643 00:28:20,448 --> 00:28:23,206 [funky music] 644 00:28:23,310 --> 00:28:25,137 - ♪ She's a grown-ass woman 645 00:28:25,241 --> 00:28:27,620 ♪ And she don't take no stuff ♪ 646 00:28:27,724 --> 00:28:29,586 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman 647 00:28:29,689 --> 00:28:32,000 ♪ And you can't get enough 648 00:28:40,206 --> 00:28:41,758 - ♪ She's a grown-ass woman 649 00:28:41,862 --> 00:28:44,034 ♪ And she don't take no stuff ♪ 650 00:28:44,137 --> 00:28:46,000 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman 651 00:28:46,103 --> 00:28:48,482 ♪ And you can't get enough 652 00:28:48,586 --> 00:28:50,689 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman 653 00:28:50,793 --> 00:28:53,000 ♪ With a husband and kids 654 00:28:53,103 --> 00:28:56,103 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman 655 00:28:56,206 --> 00:28:59,275 ♪ And it's the Ms. Pat Show 656 00:28:59,379 --> 00:29:02,000 ♪